What’s up, yo! Preston Smiles here. Make sure you go to prestonsmiles.com because I got some magical juicy stuff that I’ll only release through email. Today’s transmission, “Five Ways to Overcome Fear and Master Personal Freedom”. In 2005, I started surfing and I was good, not that great. I decided to go on this trip with my buddy, Josh, to a surf break called Tarantulas.
Now, out the gate, I should have known that this was going to be an issue with a surf break called Tarantulas. We get there and it’s beautiful and the waves are crashing and at this point, remember that I had only surfed just a little bit and maybe the biggest wave I had ever surfed was 5 feet. From the beach break, it looks like everything I had ever surfed.
We get out there, we strapped on our wet suit. We paddled out and as I get closer, I’m like, “Josh, these waves are bigger than like they looked back there.” He’s like, “Yeah, it’s probably 6 to 10 feet today,” which is actually really big and it was heavy. We get out there and I’m shaking. I’m scared. It was like, like it was Iceland even when the sun was out and we’re in California. I was really nervous.
After about 20 or 30 minutes, I gathered the courage to paddle for a wave and I caught this wave and I was happy and I was excited and I was like, “Woo-hoo!” I kicked out of the wave and I looked up and I heard of the guys says, “Outside,” which in surfer terms means that there’s a gigantic wave, rouge wave coming in and you better paddle your butt off or you’re going to get annihilated.
I’m here, they’re here and the wave is here. Everybody is paddling full speed and then there’s a point when I realize and everybody else realizes after they make it over that I’m not going to make it. What’s even worse is that I’m in the impact zone which means I’m in the point where the wave kicks up and slams in the exact spot. That first wave is coming and I’m seeing it jacked up and I was like, “Okay, there’s no way out of this.”
I tried to dive under and the wave hits me, bangs! Slams me to the ground. I’m in the sea grass being tumbled and pushed to the ground and thrown everywhere and I come up and I take this breathe, “Aah!” Only to see that there’s another one. That one comes, bang! Hits me, takes me, throws me, pushes me further out and then another one comes. At this point, when the third one comes, I have the thought I may not make it. I have that thought that this is actually life and death and then I actually may not make it this time.
It hits me, I go down. I [watch 00:02:44] the machine, I tumble, eventually I come up, take the breath and I see that it’s clear and it’s calm. At this point my buddy Josh is screaming, “Preston, Preston, come here, come here. P, come out.” I see that the sand is there and I could paddle back to the beach or I could back out with the surfers. I have this choice point, this moment, what do I do? Do I go back where it’s safe or do I go and do the thing that I love?
Josh told me later that it looked like I had death in my eyes and it was so important that I get back out there and get back on that board and surf again because if I would have went, which I did not choose. If I would have went back to the beach, I would have never surfed again and I would have missed out on this beautiful gift that I do all the time.
I paddle back out and yes, I was afraid and fear was coming through my body but I did it anyway. It took me almost an hour to catch the next wave but I did it anyway. Now, before we even begin and I give you the five master steps to overcoming fear and gaining your personal freedom and your personal power, I must say this that it is highly important that you share what’s coming up for you, that you tell your friends and your family or somebody you trust, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a husband, a wife, whoever. You tell somebody what you’re experiencing.
You see, if I would have tried to go at that alone without having Josh, maybe I would never be a surfer. Maybe I wouldn’t even be living but because I had a friend who got my fears, because I had a friend who could see what I was going through from a different perspective, because I had a friend who could see it differently. He held the space for me to get over my fears.
Step #1, to overcoming your fear is examine your story carefully. Ask yourself, is this real? Ask yourself, is this grounded or am I making this story bigger than what it is? Ask yourself, is there a possibility that there can be another outcome? Does this have to be true for me or is it true for just me and nobody else? Because when you examine the story, you can create enough space where it doesn’t have you. A lot of people are afraid of, let’s say, snakes. They have a story that the snake is going to come out and bite them but if we examine it carefully, the likelihood of a snake jumping out and biting you for no reason is pretty rare.
Step #2, to overcoming your fear is drop your need for security. People, just for security, will stay in jobs they hate and marriages that are making them miserable and they’ll keep doing things like overeating even though they know it’s killing them. When you drop your need to feel secure all the time, you overcome the fear. When you drop your need of having to know and have it all figured out, you create a space where you can be bigger than something. I know so many people who want to follow their dreams but their fear of failure is stopping them. The fear is getting in their way.
They’re addicted to their comfort zone and the security of knowing where the next paycheck is coming from. Now, I get it. That’s not an easy thing to do necessarily but if you start doing #1 which is examining the story and then step into #2 which just go, you know what? Do I really, really need all this security? Is this security real? I’ve met so many people and seen it in my own family where somebody thinks that they’re secure in their job, in their relationship and then the rug gets pull from under them. If it can get pulled no matter what, why in the hell would you stay in it just because it’s secure? You had to push against your edges. You got to move forward.
Step #3, which is treat fear like an action call. Every time you experience fear, know that that’s exactly what you get to walk towards. Know that that’s a thing that you get to move forward in. If you’re afraid to talk to that girl, ask her for her number, if you’re afraid to ask for a raise in your job, that’s exactly what you need to do. If you’re afraid to just go to your mate, to your partner, to your best friend and say, “You know what, brother? The way that you’ve been acting is not necessarily conducive to our friendship.” If you’re afraid of that, that’s what you walk towards. Walk towards what you’re afraid of and you overcome it.
Step #4 to overcoming your fear is reframe your fear into excitement. Robert Heller said that,”Fear is excitement without the breath.” People ask me all the time, “Are you afraid to speak?” I went and spoke in Australia for 6,500 people and after it was over, few people said, “Were you afraid?” Yes, I felt fear. I felt some fear come up but I transmuted that. I pushed it into excitement. I got myself pumped up. I got myself in a state ready to go like I’m doing now.
I asked myself powerful questions like who am I and what am I here for? Well, the answer to who am I is love and what am I here for, the answer to that is serve, service, I’m here for service. In that moment, it became less about me and my fears and looking bad and looking stupid and messing up and not getting the words right and more about being of service for humanity, for the 6,500 people that were in that room. It was more about service in that moment.
When you reframe it into excitement and ask powerful questions like what am I here for? I can almost guarantee you, 9 out of 10, you’re going to have the same answer as I did, which is service. What am I here for? I’m here to serve. Stop making it about me and make it about them. In that moment, the fear gets transmuted. It becomes excitement and you can use it to create.
Step #5 which is the final last step is make sure you breathe. Just breathe. I found that whenever I’m feeling fear, 9 out of 10 I’m also not breathing. When something comes up, my breath shortens. When I’m in argument, when I feel that anger and things coming up, I stop breathing. If you just take some moments whenever you’re feeling fear about anything, whether it’s jumping off of a bridge bungee jumping or asking your soon-to-be-wife to marry you or whatever the case maybe, just take a moment to get still, get silent and be with your breath because there’s so much wisdom in the body. There’s so much space that gets created when we stop tightening and get in the flow of life.
Life is about the end-breath and the out-breath, the yin and the yang. There’s a flow and when you tap back into that flow, then you can create from there. Guys, fear is not real. It’s only real because we say it is. It’s a tool that can be used on our tool belt but it’s not something that gets to run our lives. If you are afraid of something in your life, that is the thing that points to your freedom. Whatever you are most afraid of is the thing that holds your personal freedom.
What’s up, my beautiful people. If you are new to the tribe and you are in YouTube, go ahead and click subscribe, like and leave a comment. If you’re on Facebook, tag somebody, click like, leave a comment. I love you, guys, so much. It is going down in a beautiful major way. I am, we are #LovesVoice. Live love, give love, be love.